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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9225) - you deserved it (21545)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

#20521895
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (6612)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (2071)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (5148)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (6830)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (6440)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (5596)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (1911)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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