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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (3720)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (6967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (13478)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (2636)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (52804)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (9613)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33142) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35300) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30252) - you deserved it (3452)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (7915)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



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