Tuesday 19 February 2013 
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Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (2849)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33369) - you deserved it (6322)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (2178)
On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (32905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (5343)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (4484)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (1787)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (2863)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (35154)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (4467)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (1776)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11826) - you deserved it (32315)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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