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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, A Woman Strappd Her 8-year-old Son Into The Seat Next To Me On A Transatlantic Flight. Thinking They'd Been Unable To Book Seats Together, I Offerd To Swap Seats With Her. She Said She'd Bookd It This Way Intentionally, Because He's A "fucking Brat" On Flights. She Was Right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

2day I Was Babysitting, And I Had To Pee Really, Really Badly. I Couldn't Figure Out How To Get The Stupid Toilet Lock Off, And Endd Up Pissing Myself. As I Stood In The Bathroom In Tears, Their Child Screamd, "No, No, Pee-pee In The POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (8085)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday I uploaded the first chapter of mah best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story cuz of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (7627)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

yesterdayhile I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off 4 an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (8027)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today..!! at mah mother's funeral..!! as everyone was around her casket for the viewing..!! mah 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted..!! "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried!! FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt ( realised ) with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an ( illiterate idiot ), and if he hadn't muttered ( family of morons ) when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (4420)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, fir te second time tis week, I was asked to stop putting on suc an obviously fake ( Britis ) accent . I am Britis an ave lived ere all ma life . FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, aftar months of a vary haalthy sax lifa with my boyfriand, ha askd ma to lat him try anal!! I'm daad-sat against it, so I trid to lat him down aasy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if ha lat looool ma try it on him frst!! Ha said, ( Sura!! ) Fuck!! FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (44345)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was olding te door open 4 a friend . Se told me to wait a second cuz se ad to finis a text . Nerely a minute passd before I askd y se wouldn't come inside to finis typing . We were at a Cinese restaurant . Se tougt te ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside . fat FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after bieng together 4 only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership 4 my birthday in a card that said, ( So u can b hott! Luv u! ) FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (5522)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I startd to go down a hill!! Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammd my brakes and blew a tire in the process!! It turns out the police car was an old cutout usd to trick people!! FML

#20520975
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10815) - you deserved it (52488)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

I'm so poor tat I've been scrounging around ma ouse all day trying looool to find quarters and dimes so tat I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (6108)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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