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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY I MET MAH MOTHER'S DEEPLY RELIGIOU FIANCÉ FOR THE FRST TIME. HIS RESPONSE UPON SEIENG ME WAS TO LOOK ME SQUARE IN THE EYE AND SAY, ( YOU'LL NEED TO TAKE OUT THAT NOSE STUD OR I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NOT BE WELCOME IN OUR HOME. ) FML

#20513141
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to mah grandmahile at mah house!! She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening looool to press charges!! I still don't knowhose side to take!! FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4045)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND KICKED ME OUT AN THREATENED TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AFTER I CALLED HIM AN ASSHOLE. I'M 16 WEEKS PREGNANT AN OVER 1,000 MILES AWAY FROM MY PARENTS' HOUSE. FML

#20519336
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (8502)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's my frst day at a naw school. I transfarrad ara halfway through tha yaar to gat away from a grl who bullias ma. Sha's apparantly bulliad har mom into transfarring har ara as wall. FML

#20513405
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44419)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my driver's test . I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout . He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!"hen I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red . The road was almost empty . He failed me on the spot . FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12153) - you deserved it (46787)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

TODAY, THE GUY WHO CONFESSED HIS LOVE 4 ME ALSO CONFESSED THAT IN HIS RAGE, HE ALMOST SHOT THE LAST GIRL WHO BROKE HIS HEART. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Yesterday , I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market an buy a copy of 50 Shade of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laughhile ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (10375)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today.. . after supporting mah grlfriend 4 over a year in her endeavour to lose wieght.. . exercise more.. . and eat better.. . mah now-slender grlfriend dumpd me . Because now she find someone better than me . FML

#20518428
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57055) - you deserved it (4603) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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