Saturday 16 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2835)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22014) - you deserved it (5597)
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4908)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (27203)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (2034)
On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (2154)
On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (3372)
On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (4090)
On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (3245)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (19250)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (1489)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (6234)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (1369)
On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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