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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19035) - you deserved it (56355)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (4944)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (6617)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (11096)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (42244)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (3605)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30016) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (7677)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (2601)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31196) - you deserved it (3552)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12466) - you deserved it (27698)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)



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