Saturday 16 February 2013 
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Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (25187)
On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (4477)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (5700)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (7375)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (37773)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (2043)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (2326)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (2413)
On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (7470)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (1190)
On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (3345)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (2443)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (23941)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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