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Monday 11 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (4681)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (5804)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (2625)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

#20509867
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (1853)

On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (5196)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (3143)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16848) - you deserved it (28240)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (4110)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (2695)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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