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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (6676)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (11368)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25199) - you deserved it (2911)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (5475)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9108) - you deserved it (47607)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (3424)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (7211)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you deserved it (6146)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (5006)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (5699)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (3144)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30320) - you deserved it (2214)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)



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