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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36173) - you deserved it (8069)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (27366)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (31761)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

#20499439
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50757) - you deserved it (5895)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (9990)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68486) - you deserved it (3905)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (8031)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15154) - you deserved it (53941)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (34844)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (3587)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (5452)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (8173)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (5282)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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