Saturday 9 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (41048)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12674) - you deserved it (37198)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (5371)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45232) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12226) - you deserved it (18047)
On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada
Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (11939)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (2684)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4794) - you deserved it (36465)
On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (7542)
On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States
Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (2716)
On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States
Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (4595)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25577) - you deserved it (1663)
On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
