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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (5836)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (3341)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (7708)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (4420)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (7526)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

#20487007
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12789) - you deserved it (27598)

On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (8494)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (2126)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

#20491470
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (2079)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (8792)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



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