Friday 1 February 2013 
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Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (36156)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (2897)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (2481)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7908) - you deserved it (37331)
On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (6854)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (24080)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (12118)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (3494)
On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (2015)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (3619)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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