Friday 1 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (3250)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (2544)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (41047)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (38811)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (5370)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (6399)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (1157)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (18042)
On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (3819)
On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (11936)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (7542)
On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States
Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4792) - you deserved it (36459)
On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
