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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (9031)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33957) - you deserved it (21485)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (6573)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (7172)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (6479)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (38630)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (6441)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (4362)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (31895)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (13403)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (4379)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)



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