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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (4281)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3001)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7835) - you deserved it (40947)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (3904)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (5898)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

#20487007
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (24862)

On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (7114)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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