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Sunday 27 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48469) - you deserved it (5638)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (5207)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (2619)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (3424)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (9193)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (4687)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (2911)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (36162)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia



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