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Sunday 27 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51871) - you deserved it (3904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52147) - you deserved it (3616)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (10318)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (4460)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34171) - you deserved it (12832)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (45054)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (9609)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (6931)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (8481)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42166) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)



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