Saturday 26 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (24567)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (2530)
Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (3061)
On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (4449)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (3843)
On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (1338)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (478)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (1686)
On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6069) - you deserved it (29179)
On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (4679)
On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (1409)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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