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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I TOLD MY PARENTS TAT WAT I'D REALLY LYK 4 MY 21ST BIRTDAY IS TE 1865 EDITION OF TE MEMOIRS OF SAINT-SIMON IN 22 VOLUMES TAT I FOUND ONLINE 4 $200, AN AVE BEEN WANTING 4 MONTS. TEY LAUGED AN SAID, "YEA, RIGT. WE'LL GET U AN IPONE AN PERAPS YOU'LL BECOME NORMAL." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

I took my new grlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffeehen my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself , she added , ( That one didn't pay his rent on time! ) Coffee came out of my grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

TODAY, AFTER MAKING LOVE TO MY BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME, HE SHOOK MY HAND AND SAID, ( GOOD JOB. ) FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough fir just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. mega FML

#20472701
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (12147)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, mah mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry 4 her, had this not been her 7th husband. looool FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family . As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend causd the pair of us to lose by just a single point, cuz he answerd "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (6625)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

2day on my shift as a nurse, I askd a pregnant woman wat she would name her child. She said she saw the name ( Chlamydia ) on a billboard and decidd to name her daughter that, saying it was ( beautiful. ) I informd her that it was an STD, and she replid, ( Oh, well no one knows that! ) FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-brth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", an giving brth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today , I Met My Girlfriend's Dad For The First Time. His Shirt Said ( D.A.D.D , Dads Against Daughter Dating , Shoot The First One And Word Will Spread ). FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and mah friends versus mah boyfriend and his buddies. When we looool won, mah boyfriend went mental and said he only lost cuz of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into mah chest. FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (5445)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



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