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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that mah wife has been sereching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today... I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia... she smild and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughd. FML

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything!! Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors!! I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book!! FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5492)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today someone put ahole packet of glitter on the blade of mah ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticedhen I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flrting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the grl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in yur case, it's a big no." fat FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41085)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

today I told ma boyfriend about ma upcoming mout surgery. He freakd out. Not cuz e's worrid about me but cuz I told im I will not be able to give im ead for two weeks. mega FML

Taday mah mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the worldhere we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather 4 mah bus!! When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped an fell on the icy ground!! The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time 4 this shit", closing the doors, an driving off!! FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

2day my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. Tis is te same guy wo refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too muc rigt now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

2DAY MY GIRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTD ME ON MY ASS. BEFORE I COULD SAY THANKS, SHE CONTINUD BY COMMENTING THAT SHE WOULDN'T MIND "BREAKING IT IN". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average . Feeling good about myself I decided to bake some cookies . After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven I realized I forgot to turn the oven on . big fat FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (29941)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)



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