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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (38816)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (3951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2364)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (6398)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (3095)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (2021)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (1766)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32051) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (2119)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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Monday 20 May 2013

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