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Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (35443)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (2317) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (5755)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you deserved it (3046)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28976) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (3520)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33739) - you deserved it (3080)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9474) - you deserved it (34847)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (6774)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States



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