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Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2441)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17051) - you deserved it (29729)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4453)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (1964)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (5076)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (1737)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (6448)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (5910)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (2732)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (6813)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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