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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48580) - you deserved it (7622)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38504) - you deserved it (3712)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31612) - you deserved it (3583)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (6196)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (39629)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (7204)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43893) - you deserved it (6018)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (28871)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (5452)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (4787)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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