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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (8788)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (32616)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (6652)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (14124)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (11351)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (7559)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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