Friday 18 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (1619)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (3254)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17017) - you deserved it (29659)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (4449)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (1963)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (3874)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (4976)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (35376)
On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (1735)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (21166)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)
Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5907)
On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
