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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (7195)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (42723)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (5953)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (6291)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (29962)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (3969)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36750) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (39528)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (2910)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (3864)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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