Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
today my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
TODAY, I WAS DISCUSSING WITH MAH HUSBAND HOW IT WAS TIME I STOPPED TAKING BRTH CONTROL SO WE COULD HAVE A BABY!! HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID SINCERELY, "WE'RE A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE HAVING KIDS, DON'T YOU THINK?"!! HE'S 35 AND I'M 32!! FML
Taday I let mah friend bleach mah hair , which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of mah new hair to mah friends , and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." real FML
Today, I went to a family dinner!! My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wereing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", an then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me!! No wonder I hardly ever visit these people!!
Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML
Today, I attended ma aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life, but wining tat te ( cute ) clots ma aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er, instead of bieng ( wasted ). FML
Friday 27 March 2015