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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to putted the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, lyk in movies. As soon as I putted the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (39499)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , my boyfriand of thraa days mat up with ma at tha movia thaatar , sporting a cruda tattoo of my faca on his chaak , along with a lova haart and tha word "foravar." Looks lika I'm singla again.

#20469621
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY , MY MOTHER-IN-LAW GAVE ME A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE FOR MY BIRTHDAY . THIS IS THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW SHE HAS DONE THIS . I'M A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC , AND SHE'S WELL AWARE OF THAT FACT . FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect , who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him , my mind went totally blank , and after a few seconds , he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (14548)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I Was At A Party With My Crush. The Collar On His Shirt Was Sticking Up So I Fixed It Fir Him. He Gave Me A Hug And Said, ( Aww You're So Good To Me. You're Like My Mother. You Can Be My College Mother. ) I Got Mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today Both My Brother An Sister Missd My Wedding. She Was Playing In A Call Of Duty Tournament An He Got So High That He Forgot About The Wedding Completely. He Was My Best Man.

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

today my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

I hald a door opan for a swaat old lady with a walkar. Aftar sha want through tha door , sha turnd an said , "That's not how you'ra gonna gat into mah pants , son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



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