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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (5168)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10234) - you deserved it (35987)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (8400)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25881) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (5684)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (4486)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (7295)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (9139)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (6336)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (2248)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (2015)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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