Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41569) - you deserved it (5098)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (9313)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53665) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (11851)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (4987)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (9881)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (6234)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (7971)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33344) - you deserved it (8314)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: