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Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML
Today, I felt lyk going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me 4 supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. real FML
Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML
Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.
Today, mah boyfriend of a year askd me to move in with him. I would have been touchd at this gesture, had he not askd in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kickd out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015