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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33342) - you deserved it (8302)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (5836)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (14551)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (2761)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31939) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (3096)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47845) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46719) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42837) - you deserved it (2433)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (3453)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (6017)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



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