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Monday 7 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (3264)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (2365)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16267) - you deserved it (33898)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6898)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML



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