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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (1238)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (10114)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14445) - you deserved it (29825)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (1629)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15506) - you deserved it (5519)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (2214)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (10598)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (4433)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (9836)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (1762)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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