Sunday 6 January 2013 
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Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (1755)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (22639)
On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (5378)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (5158)
On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (1909)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (4316)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (1703)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9362) - you deserved it (35090)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (1580)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (4192)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (1075)
On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9523) - you deserved it (25998)
On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (1916)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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