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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (2991)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (1683)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (1046)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (3371)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14125) - you deserved it (23707)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35777) - you deserved it (1624)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13154) - you deserved it (2306)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (1192)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (5398)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13989) - you deserved it (5879)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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