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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53983) - you deserved it (4744)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39840) - you deserved it (4041)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (37113)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55681) - you deserved it (4358)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (14599)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53993) - you deserved it (4997)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (6068)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11906) - you deserved it (42139)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10832) - you deserved it (61986)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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