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Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML
yesterday someone sent my boss a CD full of documents 4 an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML
Today, during dinner, mah mum asked y I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was cuz mah girlfriend had cheated on me!! At some point during mah venting, I asked y this stuff always seems to happen to me!! My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." real FML
Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML
Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts . Upon waking up after my frst time using it, I forgot I was wearing it an thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed an split my head open on my bedside table . FML
Today, I was running on the treadmill at mah local gymhen I saw a girl I lyk a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
Friday 27 March 2015