Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 3 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (2984)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (3709)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7402) - you deserved it (22562)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (1760)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (4756)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (3121)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (6433)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38540) - you deserved it (4155)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17242) - you deserved it (874)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9968) - you deserved it (30482)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: