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Monday 31 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (8390)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (7303) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (3859)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (48981)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45661) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52975) - you deserved it (4666)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (3861)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (13992)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (6718)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40664) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51878) - you deserved it (4002)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (41214)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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