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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (4856)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50569) - you deserved it (4762)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22170) - you deserved it (42368)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (35831)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39555) - you deserved it (12933)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (7716)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39899) - you deserved it (2460)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (9440)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (1647)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17433) - you deserved it (33184)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42816) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (26388)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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