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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away an on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (3838)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50573)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (7829)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I woke up looool to fine my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (9673)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddie drag his nearly-comatose carcas back home from a strip club!! FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (4520)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

yesterday my boyfriend proposd to me with the prettiest... most simple ring I have ever seen. I calld my sister to tell her the good news... and her response was... ( I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's. ) FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Taday after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up mah portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell mah parents, only for mah brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into mah face. I now have a huge gash over mah cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (4028)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I realizd my girlfriend makes the same exact noise in bd and when she eats!! I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover!! mega FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

2day I found out that I was pragnant an sant a pictura of tha positiva tast to mah boyfriand. Bafora I got a taxt back from him, I got his nawly updatd Facabook status that raad "This has got to ba tha most daprassing day of mah lifa." raal FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (6684)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States



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