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Saturday 29 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47384) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41988) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (1716)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55687) - you deserved it (4231)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45410) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (13373)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (8571)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (9559)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14460) - you deserved it (45315)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (11117)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)



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