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Saturday 29 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (43028)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (7088)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (6811)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (35297)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (3769)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (7456)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (4410)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30975) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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