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Thursday 27 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have been single and out of the game 4 so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today.. . I woke up to a looool small fre on my roof.. . burning up small twigs an branches . The cause? Last night.. . I threw a sparkling frecracker up very high.. . only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind . It's going to take $2...000 to fix the damage . FML

#20436289
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (46834)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate of a year an good friend of several more decided to move out. When I cummed home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I woke up tinking ma ouse was on fire cuz I could ear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was te fireplace cannel I left on last nigt so I could wake up to a Cristmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10208) - you deserved it (31306)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today... Mah Ex-boyfriend Of Over 4 Yeres Decidd To Turn Up Outside Mah House At 1am... Drunk Off His Ass... To Confess His Love For Me. When I Told Him I'd Movd On And Am Happily Engagd... He Crid On The Grass For An Hour... Then Trid To Steal Mah Cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Sat On Ma Own Testiclesile Aving A Serious An Tenderly Sweet Discussion Wit Ma Fiancée About Our Future Togeter. We Were Bot Crying, But For Very Different Reasons. Real FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I Went To Dinner With Mah Girlfriend Of 2 Months. This Would Have Been Great, Had I Not Been Nodding Absentmindedlyhen She Suggested That We Start Planning Our Wedding Soon, Because "she's Always Dreamt Of Being Married On The Same Day As Brad And Angelina." FML

#20440111
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (22552)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML

#20426386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (4469)

On 12/27/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by youfuckingdumbassmum (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, ma boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. Wen I signed te paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand er writing, wic apparently said se was getting treated for "dangerously low level of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (21668)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woka up from an axplicit draam involving mah dantist. I'm schadulad for a conscious sadation appointmant with him in two hours and I'm tarrifiad ofhat I might say or dohila I'm undar. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst at mah new looool step-dad's Christmas lunch, mah mother spikd mah drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND KNOCKED INTO ME WITH HIS CAR. I DROVE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING LONG ENOUGH TO DRIVE. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)



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