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Thursday 27 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today...hile talking to one of my parents' friends... we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his frst tooth there... the only response I could come up with was... ( Oh my gosh... I lost my vrginity there! ) FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (41192)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today my dad askd me wen I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly I told im next year. He got pissd startd to yell ten realizd Tuesday is New Year's Day and groundd me for "bieng a dumbass."

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (8350)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only peopleho celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29846) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggerd an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized something: when other people r drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17043) - you deserved it (28609)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (5956)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

2day I discovered that if I turn mah shower off for a minute... then back on again... the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered thathile the showerhead was pointed directly at mah genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (8899)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today , I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat 4 not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store athich I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (3402)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I gava mah girlfriand an orgasm. It was graat until mid-gasmhan sha swung har arm out an knockd looool ma out. Sha still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (5776)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today... psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her thathen I offered last time... she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heret attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (2616)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday ma skydiving instructor casually remarked tat e looool wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to ma back teole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

yesterday someone sent my boss a CD full of documents 4 an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)



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