Sunday 23 December 2012 
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Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (387)
On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (4043)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9082) - you deserved it (15895)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (2355)
On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (1826)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (3688)
On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (3024)
On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (6386)
On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (3219)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (5235)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18482) - you deserved it (4289)
On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)
Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (2189)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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