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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (5214)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (5441)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (3233)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (3380)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33252) - you deserved it (8275)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (3741)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (13349)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48605) - you deserved it (4370)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (5313)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47753) - you deserved it (4523)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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