Friday 21 December 2012 
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Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (2687)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22614) - you deserved it (5541)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (1898)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (9061)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (2849)
On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (8612)
On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (9052)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (2942)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (5703)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (2789)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (13108)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37249) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 20 May 2013
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